I should just read the emails now, right? Anyone? She has sent me 3 or 4 (along with 3 or 4 text messages, and 2 voicemails). We didn't have plans. I never stood her up. We met at a party last October. Since then, I've gone out with her 3 times. THREE TIMES!!! Why do I feel so obligated to be her friend? Am I not allowed to feel a bit overwhelmed? Am I not allowed to have boundaries with people?
I'm going to read the emails soon. I have to because I can't avoid this and keep obsessing over this. I'll read them a lot sooner if anyone has any words of encouragement. I feel like a fucking alien. I've had people blow me off, good friends too. Sometimes people need to be alone or need to focus on other things. Is it wrong of me to think she should be able to understand this?
If I read them and they make me mad, I don't want to tear her a new one either. My honestly can be brutal and when I know I'm right, I'm quite confident in my words. But I don't want to fake anything either.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Anyone? Please submit your diagnosis below. Cut me to the bone, if you want. Tell me how it is. I want to push through this. I want to be pushed. But if you tell me to "just call her", I'm at a loss. I piss people off with my awkwardness which is hilarious seeing as how I'm the one who is AWKWARD!!!! If I call her and I can't answer her questions or if my tone isn't right, well, that never goes over well and people always want a follow up. I'm done with follow ups, if that makes sense. If you don't get me, move along (not you guys). But you get my gist, right? All I'm saying is that I'm as honest as it gets. If that's seen as my greatest fault, then so be it.